A Run of the Imagination in the Wake of Hillary's Speech

The phone conversation, I imagine, will go something like this.

“Hello, Kiss and Make Up Florist, how may I help you?”

“Hi Susan, its Barack. I need to order 4,860,000 bouquets of roses.”

“No problem Mr. O... Red or white?”

“Both. Got any blue?”

“Certainly sir, you still in trouble with Michelle over that Access Hollywood interview with the girls?”

“No, far worse. You know those 18,000,000 men and women who voted for Hillary?”

“Yup.”

“Well, there’s this CNN/Opinion poll that says 27% of them may vote for McCain and it’s not the only poll to indicate that.”

“Even after that great speech she gave Tuesday telling the sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits that they need to vote for you.”

“I’m afraid so. Her speech was good, perhaps too good. I mean some people are starting to second guess my nomination and worse my choice for VP. The latest Gallup daily tracking poll shows me neck and neck with McCain and I can’t take any chances. I’ve got to make nice with the sisterhood so please, I need 4,860,000 bouquets of roses and they have to go out fast.”

“Mr. Obama, I can save you some money if you cut men out of the order.”

“No, no, no I’m counting on that. You see there are a lot of guys married to members of the sisterhood in that 18,000,000, guys like Dion Guthrie from Baltimore. He’s a Clinton delegate at the convention but has decided to vote for me. His wife Dianna however, man is she pissed! Dianna told this good-looking smart reporter from Fox Business that she’s angry about me getting the nomination; so angry that she intends to write Hillary’s name on the ballot in November instead of voting for me.”

“That seems foolish to me Mr. O. I mean, if she’s a Democrat and wants her party to win the White House why would she do that?”

“Beats me.”

“Maybe she thinks you’re inexperienced?”

“No.”

“Or that you haven’t paid your dues?”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been working toward this since I was a community activist back in 1985.”

“That was before you graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law right?

“Yes, and you know I am no political light weight. I survived eight years in the Illinois State Senate without one indictment. I mean Illinois, they sent the governor to jail, but I’m clean”

“Yah, I heard Mr. Biden say that. But Mr. O, you just got to Washington in 2004, Mrs. C has been there since 1993 and by her own admission she wasn’t exactly baking cookies.”

“But that’s exactly why we need change Susan. Mrs. C is the old guard, she’s too D.C.-directed and I really caught on with the youngsters who are fed up with business as usual.”

“Yah, I understand all that Mr. O. but my older sister Nancy, she’s waited her whole life to see a strong intelligent woman like Mrs. C win the presidency and ever since Nancy beat cancer, health care has been her top issue.”

“Mine too. That’s part of the reason I need to send these flowers. I have to show people like your sister and that Dianna woman that I’m their gal, I mean man. I have to show them I have new ideas, original, fresh ideas; that I feel their pain.”

“Oh I like that... should we put that on the cards?”

“Yes, yes please do.”

“Okay Mr. O will that be cash or credit?”

“Charge it.”

“Sure, I’ll add it to the $3.6 trillion tab the Tax Policy Center says your budget plan will add to the debt if you become president.”

“Ouch, that is a bit steep.”

“No worries. Mr. McCain just ordered some flowers for his evangelical friends and his tab is $4.6 trillion.”

“Wow. How is Johnny boy going to pay for that?”

“I suspect the same way you will Mr. O -- borrow it. I’ve got some Chinese customers who are loaded and just looking to drop a ton of cash.”

“I like how you think Susan, but please hurry. I’ve only got about two months to get those flowers out.”

“No problem Mr. O. Sorry to cut this short but the other line is ringing. Best to Michelle.”

“Sure, Susan thanks.”

“Hello, Kiss and Make Up Florist how may I help you? Oh hi, Mr. Edwards.”